It’s pretty much 6 years since I gave up milk and mostly I am fine with it. I have a good handle on what I can and can’t eat, I enjoy the sweet baking I do with eldest and I don’t feel like the food we make and eat is lacking or lesser. But some days I read recipes and look at pictures and instead of seeing possibilities I see all the things I can’t make – I don’t have a good substitute for whipped cream or condensed milk, for example – and the frustration starts. Then I notice Cream Eggs are in the shops and remember how much I used to like brandy butter and I get more pissed off.
If I’m not careful this can lead to a day or two where I think about is what I can’t have – I’ll suddenly wish I could have lasagne or soup with cream in it, or even visit friends for food without having to make sure they’ll have food I can eat. I start to feel unreasonable and constrained.
Today I’m trying to cut this cycle off at the pass and feeding myself fat in the form of avocado, just in case that’s what this is about. So as well as soup and the massively over proofed bread I was planning to have for lunch I’ve had a huge green salad with 2 chopped avocados in it and an olive oil and balsamic dressing. This food being nothing like what I’ve been thinking about is deliberate by the way – if I try unsatisfactory substitutes I will just continue to feel frustrated, but good food I can eat should help me remember I do have choices.
And when eldest comes home, we’ll make these